At some point in my relationship, my boyfriend asked me to stop bottling everything up and waiting to tell him things, when I could tell them right then and there. And each time I promised him I would and then I would return to my old habits of bottling everything up and not saying a word until something forced me to come out with it.
I no longer want to do that.
I no longer want to subject him to the torture of trying to read my mind and anticipate my next move without me making it and I’m tired of bottling everything up and then having the contents of that bottle explode upon opening. So I’m working on being more open about my emotional being and state. And it’s much harder than I imagined.
I’m still letting things get to me, but not nearly to the extent that I used to and I’m becoming more vocal about the things that do get to me, although, I might be exasperating certain sentiments by now. All I can say is that by getting it all off my chest, even in the increments that I am doing it in, slowly but surely, I’m starting to feel better about it. I’m expressing myself in a way that I never have before and getting sentiments that I didn’t know I had off of my chest.
I’m on the road to recovery.