A Womanist Rant: Ms. Independence

I remember growing up, listening to my mom tell me that I needed to be an independent woman. I also remember, growing up and hearing about how successful women’s independence drove men away. 

Perhaps the reason I was the only girl that didn’t have a boyfriend in elementary school or high school, was because I was so independent and not because I wasn’t attractive enough. I think boys were inherently intimidated by me, because they recognized that I wouldn’t settle on subpar male qualities just to have a guy in my life. I also think they recognized that if they were ever going to get a real chance with me, they’d have to shape up or be prepared to be whipped into shape by me. And in hindsight, I wish I was more steadfast in governing my independence instead of trying to dwindle it for the ego of a guy that couldn’t tell whether he was coming or going.


And maybe’s that my issue with the male population, they all want a woman to submit and depend on them, but they aren’t doing anything to prove that they can stand on their own two feet.


I don’t want to cater to bruised egos of men who aren’t constantly and consistently trying to better their situation. I’m tired of being the glimmer of light in an otherwise uninspired life. I’m tired of being treated as if my emotions are trivial and insubstantial because I’m not afraid to show off my continued ambitions. Honestly, I just want to tell some men to man up.


If the thought of a woman doing better in life scares you, then get up and do something about it. Stop settling on your situation and expecting a woman to come in and elevate you, when you can’t even get it together. I’m sorry, as nice as it is to have a guy that can do the domestic things in life, like cook and clean, it’s not applaud worthy. What else is he bringing to the table? Because I refuse to sit at a table where the only thing on it is my ambition and his complaints of not having else on it. I’m not here for falsified encouragement that immediately dissipates when I start to do what it is that I thought I was being encouraged to do.


Honestly, I’m just about sick and tired of being dragged by men for being female, when they don’t even have an inkling of what it means to be a man.


At the end of the day, I have no problem submitting to a man or following his lead. Just don’t leave me alone at the table because you haven’t thought that far enough ahead to actually come prepared to the table with something. And then don’t come at me when you realize you brought nothing to it and I’m asking you to supply something.


You knew what you were getting into when you got with me. The least you could do is come prepared.


One thought on “A Womanist Rant: Ms. Independence

  1. Clairnite says:

    I feel you. It can be disappointment. I haven’t been in many relationships myself and often felt like I had to lower myself in order to make other guys (or even some women) feel more comfortable. Independence scares people sometimes. It means you can’t be controlled. And a free spirit scares people. Doesn’t mean you can’t learn compromise or team work. But not many see it that way. But you’re right. I hear you. Interesting post 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s