You know how when most women go through a big change in life, they do something different with their hair to signify this new chapter? I’m on the verge of becoming one of those woman.
As my birthday nears, I can’t help but want to finally come into my own. For a long time, I have always held this idea of who I would be when I became a woman and now as I approach 26, I’m finally ready to embrace this image. I no longer want to play it safe with my wardrobe choices or refuse to experiment with makeup, just because I haven’t quite mastered basic techniques yet. I’m grown and I want to start feeling grown, instead of a child trying to impersonate an adult. Maybe that’s why I’m so excited about this birthday, because I no longer have to impersonate an adult, I can acknowledge that I am one.
I highly doubt that as soon as the clock strikes midnight to announce my birthday that I will transform, but I do think that I’m on the road to change. I mean, I’m starting to figure out what it is that I want in life and more importantly, what it is that I don’t. I’m beginning to recognize my self-worth and not in terms of settling with people, but in terms of settling in life. The road map that I had created when I was a little girl, while not exactly what I’m using now, isn’t much different to the one that I’ve currently created. I’m recognizing my tragic flaws and I’m realizing that just because they are tragic flaws, doesn’t mean that they can’t be changed or outgrown.
So while I do want to start my birthday hitting up the mall and going on an all paid shopping spree ($300 on new clothes is do-able, right?), I know that being grown is more than just a wardrobe, it’s an attitude, an air of confidence. And I’m finally ready to stop pretending I don’t have it and just embrace all of it.