Whenever my daughter doesn’t want to deal with someone, that’s what she says.
It doesn’t matter if she was perfectly fine two seconds ago. If she doesn’t want to speak to a person or deal with them in that particular moment, she doesn’t feel good. The fact that a three year old is already coming up with excuses on how to get out of socializing with certain people should say something.
Granted her excuse isn’t a good one and one that anyone can see right through, she sticks with it. She asserts herself and doesn’t bother answering following up questions to her statement. She is already aware that she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation, especially if it’s about her reasoning for why she doesn’t want to interact or socialize with them. While some may call this rude, cause realistically it is, I can’t honestly say that I’m disappointed in this response and her actions following it.
Why are explanations always needed behind one’s sentiments? Why do feelings always have to explained? Why can’t asserting one’s mood be enough?
Expressing sentiments has always been a sore spot for me, because with each expressed sentiment, I was almost always forced into explaining why I felt that way. Being happy or sad or upset doesn’t require an explanation. Not wanting to talk doesn’t require an explanation. Getting forced to give one, when there is no other explanation other than “this is how I feel right now,” is just setting the person who expressed the sentiment up for failure. Requesting an explanation is the quickest way to dismiss a person’s feelings.
Sometimes I wish I could be as my daughter, express my sentiments of not wanting to talk, and have that be the end of the conversation, instead of being pestered into explaining why, as if making me talk will help them understand why I didn’t want to talk in the first place. Sometimes, I just wish I could say “I’m not in a good mood,” and not be questioned as to why I’m not, or be asked if any of these hypothetical situations the person I’m speaking to has created, is the reason why.
But I’m realizing if I ever want that kind of reaction, I have to first stop trying to make conversation with those who aren’t interested in conversation. I have to stop asking questions of why a person feels like that and then try to answer my own question by providing them with hypothetical situations that can be causing their sentiments and expecting them to correct me if I’m wrong.
Or maybe, aside from just trying my best to not be the kind of person who asks those questions, I will take the stance my daughter takes. I just won’t explain myself anymore.